TA: G3T H3LL4 EXCIT3

[twofoldaeronautics]

CC: yo tuna i got zahhak makoin you some sweet camera gear
CC: you gonna use it to record the vantasvantas fight for me
TA: l0lw4t
TA: wh05 fighting?
CC: yo favorite kind of fight its a twinfight
CC: vantasses as far as the eye can see
TA: 0MG
CC: #assumin your eyes stop after two people
TA: R Y0U 5R5
CC: totally
TA: 0mgwtf
TA: 3h3h3h3h3h3h3h3h3h3h3h3h niiiiiiiiiiiic3

CC: i get filmin rights in exchange for keepin porrim outa site
CC: so she aint stoppin it as soon as kankri gets his first scuffmark ever
TA: nic3 x 200
TA: l0l rit3
TA: h3 g0t 4ll bu5t3d up in 50m3 dung30n 2 l0l
CC: he actually went down in one?
TA: 5urpri53d 5h3 didnt flip 4 tit
TA: 3h3h3h3h3h3 y3p >8)
CC: #figured hed just be pinning memos to their doors labelin all the triggers within
TA: t00k 4 whil3 2 t4lk him in2 it 3h3h3h
CC: wutd you do tell him those imps needed to be enlightened
TA: c4ll3d him 4 wiggl3r l0l
TA: 4nd 50m3 0th3r 5hit
TA: #ultim4t3 l0l5
CC: nice
CC: so for we start derailin by just high fivin over how awful kankri is
CC: gotta give you the deets on the fight you gotta record
TA: #5pill th4t 5hit
CC: gotta get all the angles on that shit im talkin 22 cameras
TA: 3h3h3h3h
CC: s goin down on prospit with dreamselves
CC: an it will probably end when kankri pisses himself and karkat decides his shoes are bloody enough
TA: #g0ing d0wn n33d5 m0r3 th4n 22 c4m3r45 3h3h3h
TA: >8]
CC: man i aint judgin if this ends up in your personal fap folder
CC: this is gonna be hilarious
CC: #gonna charge so much for future generations to watch this
TA: #muti35 g0n3 wild
TA: #nub 0n nub 4cti0n
TA: #w4tch 0ut f0lk5 h35 4 bl33d3r
CC: #mutant on mutant violence on the rise
CC: #is the government to blame
CC: #government responds "shell yeah"
TA: #2 mut4nt5 3nt3r 1 mut4nt l34v35
TA: #th3n th3 0th3r l34v35 bitching 4nd crying
TA: #0nly 2.22
TA: #liv35tr34m 4v4il4bl3
CC: fuck livestream
CC: im makin this pay-per-view
CC: #aint no pirates gankin my special edition rights
TA: 3h3h3h3h g0tt4 p4yw4ll th4t 5hit
CC: this aint no back alley malecluckbeastfight this is high quality and that comes with high prices
TA: g0tt4 g3t 50m3 light 53tup5 th3n 3h3h
CC: got zahhak on tech you on flimin who can i get on a lightshow
CC: #if I need it, aint that planet supposed to be like super bright
CC: #Dersedreamers dont get prospit
TA: h3y it5 y0ur vid rit3
TA: 45k 53rk3t 3h3h3h
TA: #lit3
CC: dunno, she might start askin for a cut of the profits
TA: l0l0l0l th4t w0nt w0rk 3h3h3h
TA: h0wr3 y0u p4ying z4hh4k??
CC: uh
CC: you really askin why that sweaty weirdod do somefin free for me
TA: 3h3h3h3h
TA: n0p3
TA: 0n 53c0nd th0ught
TA: n0b0dy curr
CC: yeah you gettin paid in spankbait btw
CC: and all the cameras to film it with
TA: #figur3d
TA: #f4pb4nk d3p05it
CC: put it in yer vantas folder
TA: l0l my f0ld3r5 4r3 m4ny 4nd v4ri3d kthx
TA: #c0mplic4t3d 5y5t3m
TA: #4ll kind5 0f d4t4 5tructur35 4nd 5hit
CC: bs
TA: #bitch35 l0v3 5tructur35
CC: im bettin its all messy an shit
CC: #ive seen your room man
CC: #its like a fuckin 4wheeldevice factory exploded in a colision with a computer
TA: l0l0l0l0l
TA: #truth
TA: w/3 d0nt m355 with wh4t w0rk5 3h3h3
TA: kn0w wh3r3 3v3rything i5, it5 4ll g00d
TA: n0t 3v3ryb0dy n33d5 2 m4k3 r00m 4 th3ir 5t4tu35 l0l
CC: till whatcha needs at the bottom of a - man you missin out
CC: you know you aint just gotta get one you can get
CC: 2
CC: high fivin each other
CC: #cant be as big as mine tho
CC: #new empire rules
TA: n44h
TA: y0u g0t th3 5t4tu3 m4rk3t c04n3r3d 3h3h3h3
TA: n0 g0ld l3ft 4 th3 g0ldbl00d5 8(
CC: so u heard damaras goin nuts
CC: zahhak tried to talk his way outa the camera work by 'emotional trauma' a her showin up and chewin him out
TA: whut
CC: #countdown to total maroon psycho explosion
TA: l0l d0nt 50und 50 h4ppy 4b0ut it
CC: wut
CC: its the best way to get her off her ass
CC: dont need two players sittin on they asses moonin over rufioh
CC: an she was always such a wimp even tho she got totally bomb powers like you do
TA: cr4zy d035nt h3lp 5hit
CC: she just needs the right incentive
TA: cr4zy5 ju5t cr4zy
CC: ok maybe not crazy xactly but you know what i mean
CC: get her pissed
CC: and motivated
CC: an just fuckin pissed
TA: cr4zy + p5i p0w3r5 = h3ll4 fuck3d
CC: steada that meek nice foriegn crap she tries to pull i know that shits a ruse
CC: pfffft
CC: better than latent crazy and useless
TA: 0k but 4 5r5 h3r3 bitch h45 5w33t455 l3v3l5 0f fuck up ur 5hit
TA: #t3l3kin3tic
TA: #tim3 5hit
CC: yeah an i got powers of sheer badass, way fuckin stronger, an life shit
CC: i can handle anythin she dishes out
CC: an when i win i can aim her where i want
TA: enl355 th4t 5hit5 th3 big n45ty d00m shut3fuck r0lling 0ur w4y??
CC: wut you think megidos the doomshit
CC: she got potential but she aint got that much
TA: m4by3??
TA: m4yb3 n0t
CC: so your powers aint like
CC: givin you any better look at that
TA: THX V0IC35 Y0UR3 R34L H3LPFUL A+ 5CH00LF33D
TA: n0p3 8|
CC: damn
CC: kinda hoped it would be like
CC: your dumb movie 'now i know why i got these powers just need a trainin montage an i got this shit by the end of the movie'
CC: thing
TA: y3p th4td b33 NIC3
CC: well
TA: #n0t h4pp3ning
CC: damn
CC: if any of this lify shit is healin or wutever i can try an take a crack at yer head
TA: 3h3h3h i th0ught y0ur5 w45 4 h3ll4 r4d upgr4d3 h4ckx
TA: #in5t4nt lif3
TA: #4ll th3 lif35
CC: wutever im basically immortal anyway
CC: #person with the longest life gets the power to stay alive forever
CC: #just the universe realizin im too big to fail
TA: y3p truf4x
TA: unl355 twinp3ix35 g035 4 y0ur 5hit
CC: maybe i can use em to help you get a life that aint all about death or some shit
CC: #or use them to make dumbass youtube video stunts
CC: #survive all the shit even youtubers aint dumb enough to do
TA: 5uicid3 by grubtub3 3h3h3h3
TA: #pr0ud35t w4y 2 di3
CC: #aint dyin while i got my life powers on ya
CC: i think
CC: best way to try
CC: an figure it out
TA: #L0L
TA: my trick5 4r3 2 5w33t 5ry 2 54y
TA: #n0t 3v3n d4ng3r0u5
TA: #2 l33t 2 f4ll l0l
CC: fuck that im still psure you started with like 6 horns and broke 2 off doin stunts
TA: 3H3H3H3H3H N0P3
TA: 2 L33T
TA: c0upl3 br0k3 b0n35, nbd
TA: 5till b3tt3r u5ing y0ur lif3y 5hit 0n
TA: uh
CC: yeah hard to pick wut losers we want to make immortal
TA: 3h3h3h wh3n twinv4nt455 wip35 th3 fl00r with wiggl3r 3xtr0din4ri3 h3h3h3h
CC: pft
CC: cool vantas already agreed not to make him so bad he cant play the game
TA: d4mn rly
CC: kankri may not be pretty afterwards but hell be functional
TA: #5urpri5ing
TA: #5inc3 th3yr3 4ll kind 0f 5hithiv35 f3r4l fuck5tick5
CC: yeah
CC: i dunno they fucked up but their world is pretty gangsta
TA: l0lrly
CC: just sayin somea the shits pcool like you seen their boss ass beach empress?!
CC: like fuck
CC: we got stuck with "call me fef" the hugmaster
CC: they got someone who knows the two rules
CC: 1: Get riches
CC: 2: Control your bitches
CC: an i guess like the unspoken third rule that everyone else is your bitches
TA: 3h3h3h3h
TA: #b34ch35 f4r 45 th3 3y3 g035
TA: #th4t5 lik3 f0ur mi553d b34ch pun5 m33n4h wtf 0ff y0ur g4m3
TA: 4nyw4y
TA: y0u 5till think th3yr3 0ur 4nc35t0r twin5hit?
CC: #i needed it to rhyme with riches
CC: #itd look dumb if i said get reaches and control beaches
CC: yeah
CC: i mean whut else they gonna be
CC: they cant be other versions a us
CC: cuz their nitram aint got wings
CC: an their captor said their fuschias name was feferi
CC: #if it really is the same beach ima fork her good
CC: #as prevenge
TA: l0l th4td c4u52 50m3 5r5 in which 4 y0ung y3ll02bl00d u535 hi5 m3nt0r5 v3hicl3 2 4b5c0nd 2 th3 p45t 5hit
TA: g0nn4 5t4rt v4ni5hing
TA: unl355 y0u h3lp h3r g3t 4 m4t35prit
TA: th3n 5W33T GUIT4R 50L0
CC: fuck that im a blackrom grub if i ever seen one
CC: #2 gansta not to be born from hate
TA: #p0int 5t4nd5 3h3h3
TA: #d0nt v4ni5h b3f0ur th3 50l0
CC: man if thats my choices i got a true sophees choice goin here
CC: hate this beach an wanna krill her
CC: vs
CC: aint cruel enough to deny the world my existance
TA: #tw0 t0ugh ch0ic35 3h3h3
TA: #b3tt3r th4n 0n3
CC: fuckit if that beach needs a bucket you on gettin her laid duty
CC: ill make sure yours does
CC: #came out wrong
TA: 3h3h3h3h3h c4pt0r 2.2 i5 0n th4t 5hit
TA: TR0L0L0L
TA: y0u 5ur3
TA: might h4v3 b33n 4....
TA: D0UBL3 ENT3NDR3
TA: >8]
CC: just for that ima think up a third meaning for it and make it a triple entendre
TA: h4r5h 8(
CC: #gotta put a stop to all non fish themepuns eventually
CC: #your gonna have to start workin fish into your 2s
TA: #puni5hm3nt
CC: #but thats a double edged swordfish cuz then clamporas gonna think your doin it for him
TA: #which 0n3
CC: wut
CC: ancestor clampora hittin on ya 2?
TA: 0 w4it 3h3h3h th3yr3 3qu4lly n45ty
TA: uh
TA: 3h3h3h n0t 3x4ctly
TA: ju5t thir5ty 45 5hit
TA: #w4nt3d 4 c4pt0r 54ndwich
TA: #qu4drupl3 th3 bulg3
CC: ahahaha wow
CC: he may double his efforts now that he an captor broke up
TA: #d35p3r4t3 tim35
CC: mebe we can get the clamporas to hook up wich each other an get off everyone elses back by 1/4
TA: 33h33h3h3h
TA: #53r3ndipity
TA: #l053r x l053r
CC: #plot twist of the century, clamporas his own ancestor
TA: #p4r4d0x 5p4c3 5trik35 4g4in
CC: so does this mean when we all win like
CC: they gonna go to the past an shit and we make a new world
CC: or
CC: wut
TA: th3y m4k3 4 n3w w0rld 4nd it5 b3f0ru5
TA: 4nd w3 m4k3 4 n3w w0rld th4t5 4ctu4lly c00l 3h3h3h
CC: rite ok guess that makes sense
TA: #h3ll4 3h3h3h
CC: #kinda weird findin out our species came from a different universe than we thought?
TA: y3444h
CC: #also hilarious findin out that beach never went god tier cuz no way was the empress immortal
TA: l0l
TA: 50 th4t m34n5 th3ir 3mpr355 i5 y0ur 4nc35t0r 2 ??
TA: 4nc35t0r x 2 r3m0v3d
CC: uh
TA: i5 th4t 4 thing?? l0l
CC: well i guess its her ancestor
CC: i mean
CC: if everyones got an ancestor
CC: then our ancestors gotta have ancestors
CC: an they gott have ancestors
CC: #its all ancestors all the way down
CC: #still not really sure EVERYONE has one tho
TA: 5r5 qu35ti0n i5 if 3v3ryb0dy giv35 4 fuck
TA: #n0p3
CC: #dont give a shrimp about it beyond gettin to stab her
TA: l0l0l0l
CC: #an mebe findin out what kinda lipstick her ancestor got cuz damn these pictures she got has it fuckin WORKIN for her
TA: l0l0l0l
TA: ju5t pink glitt3r
TA: 4nd glu3
CC: nah i tried that
CC: aint got the same nice sticky effect she gettin with her lipprints
TA: th3n n0 clu3
TA: #45k p3ix35 1.0
CC: pft
CC: if she is my ancestor she aint gettin a word out for she gets a 2x3 to the face
TA: 54crific35 g0tt4 b3 m4d3
TA: 4 th3 54k3 0f r4d lip5
CC: im gettin nofin but horrible choices here
CC: #the true terror of this game aint the lameass imps
TA: #d00m3d 2 5hitty cho0ic35
CC: so hows actually gettin alon with your ancestor
CC: #id say you had the top tier ancestor but psure you both want him to be #2
TA: l0l c4pt0r 2.0 i5 r4d 45 5hit 3h3h3h3h
TA: #2.0 vs 2.2, pr0bl3m 50lv3d
CC: so then we gotta choose a #1 ancestor
CC: im nominating vantas
CC: best improvement over his shitty descendent
TA: l0l y34h 5h0utnub5 > l3ctur3nub5 by 4 mil3
TA: mi55ing th4t wh0l3 uptight 5hitty hyp0critic4l tight455 thing
CC: kay so we got the best ancestor, the second best, the worst
CC: and then who glubs a fuck boat the rest
TA: n0b0dy
TA: n0b0dy curr 3h3h3
CC: man
CC: now im just itchin to get a shot at her
CC: you cant glub all the forkins i wanna give her
CC: #you so lucky your ancestor was dead
CC: #i mean cept not since now we know he cool but still
TA: it5 c00l
TA: g00d 2 kn0w th3 c4pt0r lin3 i5 3v3n m0r3 r4d th4n 5u5p3ct3d th0 3h3h3h3h3
TA: #w4rmbl00d5 d0nt c4r3 4b0ut th4t 5hit 4nyw4y l0l
CC: yeah i dont care boat it either but that beach drove me off the planet
TA: y34h but 5h35 d34d n0w
TA: n0t #n0w n0w but #n0w b4ck h0m3
CC: yeah
CC: less she was on some off planet peace mision or somefin
TA: w3lp 5uck5 4 h3r cuz 3v3ryb0dy 3l53 5ur3 did
TA: #qu33n 0f j4ck 5hit n0w
CC: yeah she got the shitty colonies to rule
CC: #who even likes the colonies
TA: n0 m0th3rgrub5 0n th3 c0l0ni35
CC: really?
CC: #i know jack shit boat the mothergrubs
TA: th3 w4rp fuck5 3m up
CC: #an i aint askin porrim she all sensetive boat that shit
TA: b33p b33p 2 f45t 2 h4ndl3
CC: huh
CC: but lusii go just fine?
TA: i gu355 ?
CC: space travels fuckin weird
CC: #gimmie seatravel any day
TA: #n0p3
TA: #n0t 45 c00l
TA: #5ry n0t 5ry
CC: #cant jump out of a space ship an go fight monsters outside
TA: 8|
TA: #firin my l453rz
TA: #p3w p3w
CC: cant feel the ocean breeze in space
CC: or meet sexy mermaids
CC: an if you goin for a pirate theme that aint gonna work half as well in a space ship
CC: #can pull it off but why put in the extra work when you got a whole ocean to rob
TA: #l355 w3t
TA: #3h3h3h
CC: yeah an we all know you aint shit at gettin people wet
CC: #cant make those kinda puns boat a spaceship
TA: # 8[
CC: 38P
TA: 3h3h3 0k 50 pir4t35 lif3 4 y0u w3 g0t it
CC: mebe some kinda mix a pirate and navy
CC: wanna be gettin that pirate loot
CC: but wanna whole armada i get to be in charge of
TA: #priv4t33r th4t 5hit
TA: #l3g4l l00t
CC: aw yeah
CC: #pirating the pirates and gettin the government pays the tab
TA: #d0ubl3 th3 p4y0ut
CC: more like quintuple I aint goin in for any chump change
TA: 3h3h3
TA: p4int th3 b04t g0ld
TA: #h3ll4 rich35
CC: fuck paint im gettin that thing gold plated an hirin psiionics to help it go
CC: #at least gotta make sure the big figurehead of me is shinin
TA: m0unt up 50m3 c4nn0n5 in it5 h4nd5
CC: hell yeah shootin fake gold tridents
CC: #not wastin real gold on ship im gonna shoot
TA: #g0ld b3nd5 4nd 5hit 4nyw4y
CC: yeah
CC: i mean its the best shit in the world btu it aint exactly
CC: useful for everyfin
CC: #pains me to say it
TA: 3h3h3h
TA: #th4t5 r0ugh buddy 8[
CC: eh
CC: i already promised id make you my spaceship #2 so we doin that
CC: but then when we land on planets you gotta get your ass on a seaship wit me
CC: 38P dems the rules
TA: #flip5 0ff th3 5t4rb04rd pr0w 3h3h3h3h3
CC: gonna have to swap that out for a surfboard
CC: #and your coolguy ruffmess for some gnarly seadreds
TA: #n0p3
TA: #5k4t3 th3 w4v35
TA: #h3ll4
CC: #you gonna make troll history
CC: #first psiionic to drown for the sake of radness
TA: #5k4t3 0v3r 4 5h4rk
TA: #3v3ryb0dy5 n00k5 3xpl0d3
CC: well shit now thats just unsanitary
CC: you better be willin to mop my ship after that happens
TA: #eheheheh
TA: #'m0p'
CC: man even you aint able to lick it clean
TA: i5 th4t 4 ch4ll3ng3
TA: 8|
CC: man if you get nooksplosions all over my ship an then get your spit all over it you footin the bill for a real subjuglajanitor to clean it up
TA: 3h3h3h3h3h3h
TA: 0k t4rp5 g0 d0wn b3for3 4ll r4d 2 th3 m4x 5tunt5
CC: yeah gotta make that oficial policy
TA: #54f3ty fir5t
CC: gonna put that in the employee orientation
CC: got a video on what to do when captor pulls out the radness
TA: #5t3p 1: fl00r pr0t3cti0n
TA: 5t3p 2: 5T4ND B4CK 4ND B33 4M4Z3D
TA: 5T3p 3: n00k g4m3 2 5tr0ng 3tc 3h3h3h3
CC: woah shit
CC: you puttin in uneven steps
CC: #we got an imposter in this chat
CC: #pretendin to be captor
TA: y34h i pl4nn3d th4t 5hit b4dly
CC: gotta drop the last one or put in a #4
TA: step 4: cl34n up y0ur 5hit 3h3h3h3h
TA: b3f0r3 empr355 5t3p5 in it
CC: fuck yeah i aint gonna spend all that money on janitorial staff
TA: l0l