CG: BE BAD AT REASSURANCE

[kkarkatvantas]

CG:: TEREZI
CG:: HEY.
GC:: >:|
GC:: GO 4W4Y
CG:: NOPE, SORRY, NO CAN DO

CG:: TODAY IS JUST A LONG HAUL PROCESS OF STICKING MY SNIFFER INTO EVERYBODY'S SHIT, LIKE SOME KIND OF OBSESSIVE BARKBEAST WITH A BONEBULGE FOR STINK
CG:: I WILL NOT BE DETERRED
GC:: YOU 4R3N'T 4 QU4L1F13D D3T3CT1V3 SO YOU'LL G3T NOWH3R3. JUST GO H4NG OUT W1TH 3R1D4N 4ND SOLLUX 4ND L34V3 M3 4LON3! YOU'LL B3 B3TT3R OFF 4ND 1T'LL B3 B3TT3R FOR OUR WHOL3 T34M
CG:: OH MY FUCK. ARE YOU SERIOUS? HAVE YOU DEVELOPED A TRAGIC AND TERMINAL CASE OF PANPARASITES? IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS GOING TO HANG OUT WITH SOLLUX AND ERIDAN A STATE OF 'BETTER OFF' BY ANY OBJECTIVE STANDARD.
CG:: OH RIGHT IT'S NOT.
CG:: SO FUCK THAT, SUGGESTION DENIED. WHAT'S GOING ON.
GC:: 4BSOLUT3LY NOTH1NG
GC:: SOM3 D3L1C1OUS FL4VORS
GC:: SOM3 T4NT4L1Z1NG SM3LLS
CG:: OH WELL IN THAT CASE I GUESS ALL'S FUCKING WELL THAT ENDS WELL! I'LL JUST GO ABOUT MY USUAL BUSINESS OF FONDLING MYSELF AND PICKING FOSSILIZED TREASURE FROM MY SNIFFNODES, SHALL I
GC:: Y3P
CG:: REAL FUCKING SLY THERE PYROPE.
CG:: I MAY BE A SHITTY FUCKING DETECTIVE BUT YOU'RE A FUCKING AWFUL SUSPECT.
GC:: 1 4M 4N 3XP3RT ON 4LL ROL3S PR3S3NT 1N TH3 COURTROOMS OF JUST1C3 TH4NK YOU
GC:: 1NCLUD1NG SUSP3CTS
GC:: >:|
CG:: OH, OKAY, THEN JUST A SHITTY LIAR.
CG:: UNLESS YOU'RE ADMITTING SHIT ISN'T ALL THAT PERFECT?
GC:: WH4T
GC:: YOUR CONCLUS1ONS 4R3 1LLOG1C4L
GC:: 1 4M NOT 4 SH1TTY L14R 4ND 3V3RYTH1NG 1S F1N3
CG:: YOU KNOW WHAT, FINE. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO FUCKING ADMIT TO ANYTHING, I'M NOT GOING TO FORCIBLY DRAG IT OUT OF YOU LIKE SOME KIND OF HIDEOUS WANING FLIP SCENE IN A SHITTY MOVIE. BUT DON'T THINK YOU'RE FOOLING ME; YOU HAVEN'T MADE A SINGLE SHRIEKY PSEUDO-CLEVER JIBE THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION.
GC:: WH4T3V3R
CG:: SHOULD I POINT SOLLUX'S RAMBLING WALKING CORPSE IN YOUR DIRECTION OR WHAT
GC:: NO W4Y!
GC:: 4ND 4NYW4Y CL3V3R S1D3TR4CK1NG 1S JUST 4N 3XCUS3 TO COMM1T LOG1C4L F4LL4C13S 4ND CONFUS3 ON3S S3LF.
CG:: I'M NOT CONFUSED HERE, ARE YOU?
GC:: 1 4M N3V3R CONFUS3D
GC:: 3V3R
CG:: FINE, NOT CONFUSED.
CG:: WHAT THEN.
GC:: MY 3Y3S H4V3 B33N OP3N3D
GC:: M3T4PHOR1C4LLY
GC:: TO TH3 F4CTS OF R34L1TY 4ND TH3 C4P4P4B1L1T13S OF 1NST1NCT
GC:: TH4T'S 4LL
CG:: ...WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN
GC:: TH4T SOM3T1M3S S3NS1NG TH3 FUTUR3 L34DS TO S4CR1F1C3S TH4T 4R4N'T WORTH M4K1NG, 1 GU3SS.
CG:: OKAY, BACK UP HERE. LET'S ALL TAKE A MINUTE TO REMEMBER THAT I HAVE SHITTY USELESS GAME POWERS SO WHATEVER YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT IS FLYING OVER MY STUMPY HEAD AT THE SPEED OF SOUND. WHICH FUTURE?
GC:: TH3 ON3 WH3R3 W3 M1GHT 3ND UP W1NN1NG
GC:: OR ON3 OF THOS3 ON3S
GC:: 1 C4NT T3LL TH3 D1FF3R3NC3 B3TW33N TH3M 4NYMOR3 4ND WHO C4R3S 4NYW4Y
GC:: TH3 FUTUR3 1S UNPR3D1CT4BL3 4ND UNS334BL3
CG:: WELL I FUCKING CARE, FOR ONE
GC:: WHY
CG:: JEGUS FUCK, BECAUSE THE ALTERNATIVE OF BEING STUCK IN A TINY UNIVERSE WITH VRISKA SERKET AND A BUNCH OF ALIENS IS REALLY A QUALITY ALTERNATIVE
CG:: BECAUSE WE FUCKING DESERVE TO WIN AFTER ALL THIS BULLSHIT
CG:: HOW DO YOU NOT CARE
GC:: 1TS 4LL US3L3SS. TH3R3'S NO W4Y W3 C4N F1X TH3 G4M3 W1TH H4LF OUR T34M OFF B31NG 1NS4N3 4ND 1'D R4TH3R PR3S3RV3 TH3 L1V3S L3FT TH4N H4V3 TO D34L W1TH 4CT1ON.
CG:: DID CAPTOR TALK YOU INTO THIS?!
GC:: NO BUT 1'M JUST TH1NK1NG H3'S R1GHT
CG:: IS DOOM AND FUCKSHITTERY NOW SPREADING THROUGH THE PLANETS LIKE A NASTY CASE OF SKINRASH
CG:: HE'S A PIECE OF GARBAGE WITH BAD TEETH IS WHAT HE IS
GC:: 1'M GO1NG TO GO B4CK 4ND 34T 4 THOUS4ND MOR3 R41NBOW C4K3S 1F TH4T'S 4LL
GC:: 1T'S TH3 MOST US3FUL TH1NG TO DO
CG:: HOW IS THAT USEFUL?!
GC:: B3C4US3 TH4T W4Y 4NY STUP1D V1S1ONS OF TH3 FUTUR3 W1LL B3 BUR13D 1N 4 H4Z3 OF D3L1C1OUS R41NBOW 4ND WON'T DO 4NY MOR3 D4M4G3 TO OUR T34MM4T3S
CG:: WAIT, **WHAT**??
GC:: WH4T
CG:: NO, YOU WHAT
CG:: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN
CG:: ARE YOU BOGARTING MY FUCKING BLAME OVER THAT WHOLE NIGHTMARISH EXERCISE IN PUKING AND BLEEDING
GC:: W3LL TH3 3NT1R3TY OF 4LL OF TH4T W4SN'T YOUR F4ULT 1N 4NY W4Y
CG:: JUST THE VAST FUCKING MAJORITY
CG:: EITHER FUCKING WAY IT'S NOT YOURS, EITHER.
GC:: F4LS3
CG:: HOW THE SHIT IS THAT FALSE
CG:: GIVE ME ONE GOOD EXPLANATION ON HOW YOU GET TO TAKE ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY
GC:: 3V3RYTH1NG TH4T R3SULT3D W4S D1R3CTLY 1NFLU3NC3D BY MY BL1ND 4CC3PT4NC3 1N TH3 S3T P4TH OF TH3 FUTUR3
GC:: S331NG TH4T SORT OF TH1NG 1S MY 4SP3CT. 1 SHOULD H4V3 B33N MOR3 P3RC3PT1V3
CG:: GAMZEE PULLED OUT SOME FUCKING AWFUL HIGHBLOOD MINDFUCKERY
GC:: 4ND 1T SHOULD H4V3 B33N OBV1OUS TH4T H3 WOULD DO SO
GC:: 1 UND3R3ST1M4T3D H1M 4ND SO TH3 3NT1R3TY OF TH3 D3V3ST4T1ON 1S MY F4ULT.
GC:: WH1CH 1S F1N3
GC:: 1 H4V3 4CC3PT3D 1T.
CG:: I CALL HOOFBEASTSHIT
GC:: F1N3.
GC:: [[gallowsCalibrator has signed off]]





CG:: ARE YOU STILL DROWNING YOUR WOES IN MULTICOLORED HUMAN CONFECTIONERIES OR DID YOU REALIZE HOW WRONGHEADED THAT IS??
CG:: TEREZI
CG:: TEREZI PYROPE
GC:: >:[
CG:: GOOD, I THOUGHT YOU WERE IGNORING ME
GC:: YOUR D34F3N1NG SHOUT1NG 1S 1MPOSSIBL3 TO 1GNOR3
CG:: I KNOW, IT'S LIKE A GAME POWER BUT EVEN FUCKING BETTER BECAUSE IT'S NOT MADE OF HOOFBEASTSHIT AND SUBSTANDARD CODE

GC:: H3H
GC:: 1T'S WH4T G1V3S YOU YOUR GLOW1NG CH3RRYR3D P3RSON4L1TY H3H3H3H3H
CG:: FUCK THAT; MY PERSONALITY IS A GREY, STORMY, AND IMPENETRABLE CONCRETE SAFE, JUST LIKE MY SIGN.
GC:: R1GHT
GC:: MY M1ST4K3
GC:: 4NYW4Y 1S TH4T 4LL
CG:: FUCK NO
CG:: DID YOU TALK TO SOLLUX
GC:: NO
GC:: WHY WOULD 1 H4V3
GC:: SOLLUX H4S H1S P4N D1STR4CT3D W1TH 4LL H1S PROBL3MS 4ND TH3YR3 NOT ON3S 1 C4N H3LP W1TH
GC:: SO WH4T 3X4CTLY 1S TH3 PO1NT
CG:: 99% OF SOLLUX'S PROBLEMS COULD BE SOLVED WITH A MORE REGULAR BATHING SCHEDULE
CG:: BUT THE FUCKING POINT IS THAT
CG:: I GET IT, OKAY, IT'S NOT MY PLACE TO BE PRYING INTO YOUR SHIT IF YOU'RE REALLY NOT UP FOR TALKING ABOUT IT
CG:: BUT IF NOT ME, WHO THE FUCK
GC:: TH3R3'S 4 S1GN1F1C4NT L4CK OF 3XCR3M3NT H3R3 TO D1G THROUGH
GC:: SO 1'M NOT SUR3 WH4T YOUR 3FFORTS W1LL PROV3
CG:: THERE'S A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF WE JUST FUCKING WENT OVER THIS
CG:: SO MUCH SO THEY'VE HAD TO OPEN A FUCKING ANCILLARY BAY FOR IT. IF THEY DON'T FIND AND STOP THE SOURCE OF ARE-YOU-SHITTING-ME SOON, WE'LL ALL FUCKING ASPHIXIATE
GC:: F1N3
GC:: W3LL TH3N
GC:: TO 4NSW3R TH1S L3G4LLY QU3ST1ON4BL3 L1N3 OF 1NT3RROG4T1ON
GC:: 1 WILL B3 F1N3
GC:: 4T SOM3 PO1NT 1N TH3 FUTUR3
CG:: AS OPPOSED TO SOME POINT WITH A VAGUE BUT DISCERNIBLE TIME PERIOD ATTACHED TO IT.
GC:: Y3S
CG:: CAN I HELP
GC:: 1 4M NOT SUR3
CG:: OKAY, WELL. YEAH, NOT THAT I BLAME YOU, BUT FOR WHATEVER THE FUCK IT'S WORTH, I STILL DON'T THINK IT WAS YOUR FAULT AND I DON'T THINK SITTING AROUND THINKING ABOUT IT ALL THE FUCKING TIME IS GOING TO DO SHIT BESIDES MAKE YOU FEEL MISERABLE AND GUILTY AND FOUL. FUCKING TRUST ME, I DO IT ENOUGH TO KNOW.
CG:: AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED WHILE I WAS OUT, BUT CONSIDERING THE GENERAL FUCKING LEVEL OF COMPETENCE CAPTOR AND I CAN MANAGE TOGETHER ON A *GOOD* DAY, I'M PRETTY CONFIDENT YOU WERE THE REASON WE GOT OUT AT ALL.
CG:: SO.
CG:: YEAH'
GC:: 4T L34ST 1T 1SN'T M4K1NG 4NYON3 3LS3 M1S3R4BL3 THOUGH
GC:: 4ND WHO C4R3S 4BOUT TH4T
GC:: YOU SHOULDN'T H4V3 B33N TH3R3 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3
CG:: WELL THEN WHAT
CG:: SO NOBODY STOPS GAMZEE AND HE WHAT
CG:: HE'D ALREADY FUCKING KILLED EQUIUS, IT'D TAKE A BLITHERING RETARD TO THINK NEPETA WASN'T GOING TO GO FOR HIS THROAT. SO THERE'S A CASUALTY RIGHT THERE.
GC:: Y34H
GC:: 1 DON'T TH1NK SH3 WOULD H4V3 B33N 4 M4TCH FOR H1M >:\
CG:: NOBODY IS A FUCKING MATCH FOR HIM, WE DIDN'T EVEN MANAGE TO CULL HIM, REMEMBER, HE'S STILL FUCKING FLOATING AROUND THE ASSCRACK OF NOWHERE, COMMUNING WITH DARK GODS
GC:: Y34H
GC:: W3LL GOOD
GC:: H3 C4N JUST ST4Y TH3R3 TH3N
CG:: HE FUCKING BETTER. I'M PRETTY SURE ERIDAN STILL WANTS A FREE SHOT AT HIM AND LIKE FUCK THAT KIND OF STRIFE NEEDS TO HAPPEN
GC:: Y34H >:\
GC:: 1 M34N 1F SOLLUX 1SN'T 4 M4TCH FOR H1M 1 DON'T TH1NK 3R1D4N COULD B3
CG:: FUCKING THANK YOU
CG:: TRYING TO EXPLAIN THAT SHIT WAS LIKE RIPPING OUT MY OWN FANGS ONE BY ONE BY ONE
GC:: H3H3H
GC:: W3LL
GC:: 1T SHOULD H4V3 B33N OBV1OUS TH4T W3
GC:: 1
GC:: W4S UND3R3ST1M4T1NG H1M
CG:: FUCKING OBVIOUS MY ASS
CG:: I SAID THE SAME FUCKING THING, ACTUALLY, MID-FREAKOUT AND WONDERING WHY WE WERE SUCH FUCKING MORONS AND IT WAS OBNOXIOUSLY POINTED OUT THAT IT WAS *GAMZEE FUCKING MAKARA*
CG:: IF THERE WAS ANY TROLL
CG:: *ANY* TROLL. WHO WAS GOING TO FLIP THE FUCK OUT AND START MURDERING EVERYBODY
CG:: I WOULD HAVE PUT FAT CAEGARS ON TAVROS BEFORE GAMZEE, JEGUS.
GC:: R1GHT
GC:: WH1CH 1S WHY 1T SHOULD H4V3 B33N OBV1OUS
GC:: 1 C4N S33 1T SO CL34RLY NOW
CG:: HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE
GC:: TH3 B3ST CR1M1N4LS 4R3 TH3 ON3S TH4T S33M TH3 W34K3ST
GC:: 1T 1S 4 D3F3NS3 M3CH4N1SM FOR TH3M
GC:: H3 W4S FORG3TT4BL3
GC:: SO 1 SHOULD H4V3 R34L1Z3D
CG:: THAT'S IDIOTIC
CG:: THERE'S NO FUCKING EVIDENCE EITHER WAY
GC:: BUT TH3R3'S PR3C3D3NT
GC:: TOO MUCH PR3C3D3NT
GC:: 1 SHOULD H4V3 SN1FF3D 1T OUT
CG:: YEAH AND I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING LISTENED TO ERIDAN AND SHOT THE FUCKER FROM ORBIT, AND SOLLUX SHOULD HAVE LEARNED TO TUNE OUT MY HIDEOUS SHRIEKING A LONG TIME AGO
CG:: BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH
GC:: F1N3
GC:: YOU C4N DOWNPL4Y 1T 4LL YOU W4NT CH3RRYC4K3 BUT 1T W4S 4 M1ST4K3 WORTHY OF 4 US3L3SS GRUBSUCK1NG 4M4T3UR
CG:: I'LL DOWNPLAY IT TO EXACTLY THE LEVEL IT FUCKING DESERVES, AND BE SMUG ABOUT IT TOO. I'M SERIOUS; IF IT'S YOUR FAULT THEN IT'S AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT ALL OUR FAULTS
GC:: TH4T'S 4 LOG1C4L F4LL4CY
GC:: YOU C4N'T T4K3 BL4M3 WH3N YOU W3R3 CO3RC3D
CG:: EXCUSE YOU
CG:: I WASN'T COERCED INTO SHIT
CG:: I'D LIKE TO SEE THE KIND OF ASSHOLE WHO THINKS HE CAN COERCE ME INTO ANYTHING.
CG:: PROTIP IT'S THE KIND OF ASSHOLE WHO WILL BE QUICKLY LAYING BLEEDING ON THE DIRT
GC:: YOU 4R3 TH3 34S14ST 3V3R TO CO3RC3
GC:: 4 L1TTL3 SLOBB3R1NG 4ND B4M H3H3H3H3H3H
CG:: LIES AND SLANDER, YOU EGREGIOUS SHRIEKTITS
CG:: I AM A SOLID AND UNSWAYED ROCK
GC:: >:]
CG:: ):<B GC:: F1N3 F1N3 YOU 4R3 STRONG 4ND M1GHTY 4ND SO ON
CG:: FUCK YEAH. AT LAST, YOU'VE SMELLED SENSE. A PROUD AND BEAUTIFUL NIGHT HAS DESCENDED ON US.
GC:: H3H3H3H3H3H3H
GC:: 4S LONG 4S TH3R3'S R41NBOW CRUNCHY D3L1C1OUSN3SS 1T C4N B3 QU4L1F13D 4S PROUD 4ND B34UT1FUL
CG:: SURE, WHY THE FUCK NOT. LET'S JUST GOUGE OURSELVES SICK ON RAINBOWS AND THEN PROMPTLY PUKE IT ALL BACK UP. IT'LL BE A GLORIOUS NEVERENDING COLOR WHEEL
GC:: MY TOL3R4NC3 H4S SO4R3D TO GOD T13R L3V3LS
GC:: 1 W1LL N3V3R G3T 3NOUGH R41NBOW
GC:: H3H3H3H3H3H3H
CG:: IMPOSSIBLE
CG:: THERE'S A PHYSICAL LIMIT TO RAINBOW AND BY FUCK WE'RE GOING TO FIND IT AND THEN I'M GOING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT
GC:: 1F TH4TS 4 CH4LL3NG3 TH3N 1 4CC3PT
GC:: YOU 4R3 4DOR4BL3 ROLL1NG 4ROUND 1N SUG4RY TR34TS H3H3H3H3H3H3H
CG:: FURTHER LIES AND SLANDER
CG:: BUT YEAH, IT'S A CHALLENGE
CG:: A TOTALLY NONPITCH CHALLENGE IN WHICH WE'LL BOTH JUST EMBARRASS THE FUCK OUT OF OURSELVES AND END UP WITH STICKY RAINBOW SUGAR ALL OVER OUR FACES.
CG:: GROSS
GC:: 1N TH3 B3ST W4Y
CG:: YEAH, YEAH,
CG:: IN A SLIGHTLY LESS THAN HORRIBLE WAY
GC:: 3V3RYTH1NG 1 DO 1S HORR1BL3
CG:: AT LEAST WHEN IT INVOLVES GUSHERS OF RAINBOW PUKE, ARCING ACROSS THE SKY LIKE A HORRIBLE SIGN OF IMPENDING DOOM.
CG:: SO IF I BRING OVER MY ADORABLOODTHIRSTY ASS AND SOMETHING APPROPRIATELY EYESEARING AND COLORFUL
GC:: TH4T WOULD B3 4CC3PT4BL3
CG:: OKAY. GOOD.
CG:: UH, YEAH. SO I'LL... DO THAT.
GC:: M4YB3 BL1NDFOLD YOURS3LF SO YOU WON'T W1TN3SS TH3 R41NBOW CRUMBS 3V3RYWH3R3 >:\
CG:: HAVE YOU SEEN MY HIVE
GC:: NOP3
GC:: >;]
CG:: OKAY YEAH I WALKED RIGHT INTO THAT ONE
CG:: ADMIRABLE JOB TRIPPING OVER YOUR OWN LEGSTUMPS, VANTAS
CG:: WHATEVER. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
GC:: H3H3H3H3H3H3H
CG:: YEAH LAUGH IT UP PYROPE, MY POINT STILL STANDS, I LIVE IN SQUALOR AND DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT GRUBRITOS DUST
GC:: OK4Y TH3N
GC:: YOU C4N COM3 OV3R
CG:: WILL FUCKING DO
GC:: >:]
CG:: (:B